Stress Management Techniques

Self-Care Strategies:

Substantial breakfast daily

Regular sleeping habits (minimum of 7 hours)

No smoking

Moderate use of alcohol, caffeine and other drugs

Minimal intake of sugar & highly processed foods

Maintenance of proper weight

Regular exercise program

Drink much more water than you usually do.

Relaxation Techniques:

Jog in place or do jumping jacks–count to 300

Roll head and torso from side to side

Tense your muscles individually, then relax them

Pull seat of chair for 5-count: repeat with legs xtended

Take a deep breath to count of 4, exhale to 4, and repeat 4 times

Massage your forehead or temples; repeat the word “calm”

Try to walk at least 10,000 steps a day. Walk off your worry.

Meditate for 20 minutes

Listen to music and close your eyes

Take a power nap. Train yourself to sleep for 12 minutes.

Time Management:

Decide what your time is worth. Hire some tasks done.

Learn to delegate. You don’t have to do or supervise everything.

Set priorities.

Invest your time in the thing that will give you the highest return on your investment.

Plan your day according to energy levels.

Manage the paper tiger. Try to handle paper only once.

New Ideas for Success:
Always have a plan B in mind.

People with options are happier.

Set realistic life goals and work toward them daily.

Let go of uncomfortable situations and toxic relationships.

Practice setting boundaries in an Assertitive but respectful manner.

Assume responsibility for your own choices.

Remember the 4 things that matter most:

Please forgive me, I forgive you, Thank you and I love you.

Give top priority to your primary relationships.

Stressors in life- Stressors in life- Stressors in life- Stressors in life- Stressors in life- Stressors in life

Trying to control things you can’t control—-Not living one day at a time—–Lack of goals

Not clear on your values—-Unrealistic expectations of yourself and others—-Negative attitude and outlook—-Procrastination—-Trying to keep secrets—-Listening to gossip—-Taking on more than you can physically or emotionally handle—-Lack of balance in all areas of your life—-Unhealthy habits—-Changes, either good or bad ones—-Lack of faith in the future—-negative self-talk.

Kids, Chores & More Easy to Use Ways to Get Your Family to Help at Home

Are you a frustrated parent who sometimes finds it is easier to take the garbage out yourself than to keep nagging your son? Do you wonder what kind of employee he will become since he doesn’t always follow through at home? Is it worth the effort on your part to insist that he do his share? The answer is a resounding Yes!

The lessons of life and self that we want our children to learn in our homes are not only the practical ones, such as making a bed, sewing on a button or cooking a meal. They include intangible benefits as well; it is equally important for children to learn the art of cooperation, the satisfaction of finishing a job, the ease in following a schedule and the value of sticking with a task. Children need to learn those lessons in order to cope successfully with the problems and challenges they will face in life.

The seeds of good judgment, thoughtful consideration for others and self-reliance in all areas of dial family life are most easily planted during a child’s pre-school years, but it is never too late. These values can be reinforced until the child leaves home. It is the responsibility of the parents to teach our children to be contributing citizens. Schools, churches, Girl Scouts, YMCA and other youth organizations only supplement the lessons children receive at home.

A positive identity hinges on positive life experiences. If positive experiences take place in a safe and supportive home, then so much the better. The more success a child experiences, the better he feels about himself and his place in the world, and the more courage he has to try new and different things. When we “en”courage our children to contribute to the good of the family, we give them the gift of courage to make mistakes and to take risks. We focus on their assets and strengths in order to build their feelings of self-worth.

As we teach our children to work, the whole family wins. Children feel greater self-esteem, independence and a sense of belonging. Parents feel relieved of some of the work load, and they feel more confident about their child and his ability to function in the real world. Everybody feels more a part of the team, and the garbage gets taken out!

Attaboy! Encouraging Phrases That Build Confidence and Positive Action

Home, home on the range,

Where never is heard

A discouraging word

And the skies are not cloudy all day!

Oh, that would be wonderful but most parents and bosses tend to feel that criticism and pointing out what is wrong will make others want to do what is right. However, people cannot improve unless they feel good enough about themselves to believe they are capable of improvement. An encouraging parent stops using negative comments about a child and uses methods, words and actions that indicate a respect for the child and a faith in his abilities.

Jack Canfield of Chicken Soup for the Soul fame often cites a study done by some graduate students who followed a normal group of two-year olds around for a day. These average kids from average homes received 432 negative statements as opposed to 32 positive statements daily. The teachers, aides and other children were constantly saying, “Don’t touch that.” “No, it is done this way” “No, you are not big enough.”

The national PTO (Parent teacher Organization) found the ratio of praise to criticism of school age children to be 18 negative to each positive. It is such automatic action to state things in the negative; we have to learn the words to use in encouraging our children.

Encouragement is the process of focusing on your child’s assets and strengths in order to build self-confidence and feelings of worth.

I like to think of the word encourage broken into “en” courage meaning I am giving you the gift of courage. Inherent in that gift is the idea that it is okay to take risks and perhaps even to fail, but to go ahead and try it anyway. We need to convey though words and gestures that we appreciate their efforts and improvement not just their accomplishments. We need to make sure they understand that our love and acceptance is not dependent on their behavior or winning the prize in soccer.

Here is a list of 15 encouraging words and phrases that will assist your child to keep trying and increase his self-esteem and confidence.

1. “I like the way you handled that”

2. “Wow, you really thought out the solution to that problem”

3. “I have faith in your ability”

4. “I appreciate what you did”

5. “You are really showing improvement”

6. “I know you will figure out a good way to do it next time”

7. “You don’t have to be perfect. Effort and improvement are important.”

8. “I trust you to be responsible”

9. “It must make you proud of yourself when you accomplish something like that”

10. “You are a valuable part of the team”

11. “It is okay to make a mistake, we all do. What do you think you learned from it?”

12. “How can we turn this into a positive?”

13. “I’m proud of you for trying”

14. “I’ll bet by next year you will be able to handle it, you just need to grow a little”

15. “I know you are disappointed that you didn’t win, but you’ll do better next time.”

Good luck in your efforts to be more positive and encouraging to those around you.

Your children, family and employees will be grateful and will rise to your expectations. You do an important work.

5 Tips for Family Resilience- Bounce Back From Adversity

5 Tips for Family Resilience- Bounce Back From Adversity

Family resilience is the ability to bounce back from the adversities and bad luck that befall us.  No family or individual is immune from misfortune and tragedy. Daily life is filled with challenges to individual members of the family and sometimes to the family unit itself.

 

As the economy becomes more unstable and family finances go up and down, I see those families who are able to weather the storm and those who are devastated and destroyed.

 

Functioning Families Hang On

In my work as a family coach I see daily evidence of those families who can hang on to each other until a solution is found.  These families have developed a system and ability to spring back from bad times.

 

Their struggle to get through a tough situation is admirable.  I have noticed that they all seem to have intuitively used these 5 coping skills to bounce back.

 

  1. Panic With Purpose-Once the panic stage is over; they step back from the pain and look at life more objectively.
  2. No Blame or Shame-They did not buy into or assign guilt or blame. It was not someone’s fault, but rather a situation to be solved.
  3. Remember Coping Successes-They bring up past successes of their family and other families they know and admire and how they coped with pain and disappointment. They assess their areas of strengths.
  4. Brain Storm Ideas-They take a clear look at the problem and brainstorm solutions. They recognize that there are always a minimum of five methods of solving any situation
  5. Move Forward- The new way may not feel comfortable at first, but the lines of communication are kept open and adjustments are made.

Cycle of Resiliency

 

It takes time and effort to adjust to new experiences, whether they are happy or sad.
Families who are resilient learn a new rhythm which will evolve and guide their lives as individuals as well as a unit.  Without that rhythm and flow the energy becomes stagnant and stuck in unhealthy places.

 

Self Awareness Quiz

  1. Do you remember a time in your childhood when a big change occurred and how your family handled the experience?
  2. At that time, were all members of the family involved in finding solutions or was “the new way” just dictated by the adults?
  3. Did you wish that your family had chosen another way to cope?  Can you do so now? Can you be more resilient and bounce back from disappointments?

 

 

This article is written by Judy Helm Wright @Artichoke Press LLC  You have permission to use it in your blog or teaching, but please keep the content and contact information intact.

 

You will want to claim your eBook on 47 Steps To Empowerment at http://www.EmpowermentWithJudy.com You will be glad you did.

Strength and Weakness-Become Stronger in Weak Places

Strength and Weakness – Become Stronger in Weak Places

As a business owner, parent educator, parent and volunteer in the community, I have had an opportunity to see strengths and weakness in many people.  Our children have had sports coaches who made them feel great about themselves whether they won or lost the game.

These great coaches encouraged them to make the tasks they do right, even better.  They have also helped them to manage the weak places and either improve or move to another position.

Now, on the other hand, they also had teachers and coaches who had a personal agenda which including making the student better by pointing out every thing they did wrong. These teachers and coaches not only pointed out the weak places, but took great pleasure in humiliating or embarrassing them.

By focusing on the strengths that are right, we will get more of the strong behavior and learn to manage the weaknesses.

This did not motivate excellence or even a willingness to try again, but rather a fear of failure.  So instead of managing weak areas, people of all ages, tend to avoid them or assume they will do badly.

 

Self Full Filling Prophecy

What we focus on, we get more of.  It is called the Law of Attraction and has been in the news a lot lately, but has existed forever.  It is not new. It is eternal and exists just like air, electricity, gravity or all of the other laws of the universe.

By focusing on the weakness, we simply become weaker. Focus on strength and we will become stronger.

Instead of becoming angry at what your child or employee does wrong, focus would be on identifying and developing strengths while managing or outsourcing the weakness.

Recognize Your Strengths

What do you do right?  At a recent seminar, I asked the participants to list 5 things they did right so far that day.  I was astounded at how few of them could find 5 successes and accomplishments to share.

When I asked them to list 5 things they had “screwed up” the response was instantaneous. When I pointed out that for every mistake a child does right, he or she also does at least 19 things right.

Every single person can do one thing better than any other 10,000 people.

You Bake Cookies, I Buy Cookies

10,000 of you are better cookie bakers than I am.  So I could beat myself up about it and take classes and read cook books, or……I could buy cookies.

My time is better served on writing books and articles, which I love and which is easy for me to do.  That may not be one of your strengths and unless you are really dedicated, why not let me write and you bake cookies?

 

Self Awareness Quiz on Strength and Weakness

  1. Do you agree with this definition of success “Find out what you do well and just do more of it.”
  2. Can you list 5 areas where you are weak and how you could outsource or build a system to manage it?
  3. Can you list 5 areas where you are strong and how you can nurture ways to double your productivity by enhancing these strengths?

 

You are invited to claim your free eBook on Using Encouraging Words at http://www.JudyHWright.com

 

Success or Failure -Teeter Totter

Success Or Failure- Teeter-Totter

 

Recently I needed a see-saw or teeter-totter as a visual for a video I was doing on balance. Aside from the fact it was very hard to find (don’t children play with small toys anymore) it represented how opposite things are in life. For instance, success and failure are both ends of the same board.  Sometimes we are up and sometimes we are down.

 

Many of the “good things” in life can quickly turn into “bad things” when they are misused. Fire can heat our food and warm our bodies, but it can so easily destroy our homes and neighborhoods if it gets out of control.

 

Let’s look at the up side of success and the down side of failure.

 

1.    Assuming responsibility for our choices versus blaming others or circumstances.

2.    Recognizing that not everything will work out right the first time versus beating our selves up for not getting it correct.

3.    Having a plan and taking steps every day to move forward towards those goals versus thinking about a better live but not taking the actual steps to follow through. It is the difference between a concrete plan and a vague wish.

4.    A willingness to hang in there for the long run and work hard to reach a goal versus quitting too soon.

5.    Doing a job right versus taking shortcuts and giving up what you really want for what you want right now.

 

Ying and Yang

 

As I study and network with successful people, I see that they have been on the teeter totter many times, but always make sure that they end on top.

 

When you encounter failure, ask yourself how you can turn it into success?  You can do it. I have confidence in you.

 

Self Awareness Quiz

1.    Can you list at least 5 things you did successfully today?

2.    When you have made mistakes or failed at a task, are you able to find the lesson you have learned?

3.    Do you have clear cut goals and move towards them daily?

 

You are free to use this article in your blog or ezine, but please give credit to Judy Helm Wright, author and keynote speaker @ http://www.ArtichokePress.com

Aunt or Auntie? Wise Women Who Love You

What Is An Auntie? Is it Different From An Aunt?

Do you have an Auntie? I hope so because everybody deserves to have someone in their lives who will encourage, support and think they are wonderful.

Many people have asked me about my title of Auntie Artichoke. Whose aunt am I? Do I have many nieces and nephews and they call me Auntie Artichoke? Actually, I do have relatives, but the title of Auntie has nothing to do with blood lines but rather spiritual connections.

“Auntie” is a Wise Woman

It is an honorary title that is given to a woman who has a great influence in the life of others. This title implies strength and an ability to see the best and encourage good choices. In many cultures, including Hawaiian and Native American, wise, kind and guiding mentors and teachers are called Auntie and Uncle as a sign of respect and affection.

The underlying message of an Auntie is love and acceptance. As an Auntie, I am able to share wisdom and insight without the “shoulds and should nots” parents like to enforce. There is no shame, blame and criticism.

Aunties can listen without judgment, share without restrictions and love unconditionally.

“Auntie Artichoke”

I am honored to be called Auntie and to use the Artichoke as a symbol of the work I do.

The artichoke is a thistle, but is delicious to peel and eat. Try an artichoke today.

The artichoke is a strange food and many have never tried it because they were not sure what to expect. It certainly looks funny.

But the artichoke is very much like the families I work with across the world who are just like yours and mine.

We are all closed off and held tight at first glance. Some of us have prickly ends and don’t want to be opened or examined too closely. The only way to open an artichoke and a family member is with patience and warmth.

Open and Closed Families

Until the artichoke has time to cook, the leaves won’t open and reveal the true treasure-which is the heart. As you pull apart the leaves, you will find them increasingly delicious and meaty. When you have spent the time and effort to unfold the heart of either the artichoke or person, you will find the heart.

After you finish peeling and eating an artichoke or visiting with an Auntie, you will see there is much more there than meets the eye. There are hidden depths waiting to be discovered.

Everyone Needs An Auntie

My wish for each of you is to find an Auntie or Uncle who will love you unconditionally and assist you on this journey called life. My second wish for you is that you BE an Auntie or Uncle and that you mentor and guide others. Help them to find their true hearts.

I have confidence in you and your ability to reach your dreams and goals.

© Judy H. Wright. You have permission to use this article in your blog, website or e-zine (newsletter) as long as the content and contact information remain intact. Thank You.

Thanks for sharing with me today and I would like to invite you to go to http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com to read about my latest book and the bonus items I have gathered just for you. You will be glad you did.

Thanks for joining our community of caring parents, family members,coaches, teachers and mentors who want to help raise a generation of responsible adults.

 

3 Ways Women Give Away Their Power

3 Ways Women Give Away Their Power

What is power anyway? How does one get it and how does one give it away?

What three words come to mind when I say power?  Is it control? Is it domination?  Is energy, as in turning on the electrical power? Continue reading 3 Ways Women Give Away Their Power

Empathy, Sympathy; Emotions and Understanding for Others

Empathy, Emotions and Understanding for Other People

When we have empathy, we understand that other people are emotional beings and their emotions are affected by every experience in life.  We also understand that while we may have had similar experiences, we really have no idea exactly how they feel.

Empathy is much different from sympathy.

Empathy is the ability to identify with and understand somebody else’s feelings or difficulties.  Their pain is their own.  Empathy is caring, inquiring and understanding how someone feels. Continue reading Empathy, Sympathy; Emotions and Understanding for Others

Encouragement, Praise and Empowerment

Encouragement, Praise and Empowerment

There is a big difference between praise and encouragement. Many parents, employers and mentors do not know what to say that will motivate and empower others.  As a parent educator and family coach for over 25 years, I have seen and experienced this confusion in my own  life and the lives of others.

“Atta Boy”  “Good Job”  “Way to go”  “That was a great catch.”

These are all compliments puppy dogs, small children and grown adults love to hear.  When someone notices and comments in a positive way, not only animals but people want to do more. Everyone has a hunger for acceptance.

Not Everyone Likes Praise Continue reading Encouragement, Praise and Empowerment

Plug In Your Power & Light Up Your Future